Something is playing with my fear

I don’t fear the dark, I try to fear nothing.

But recently, as I have been training my mind… I’m getting the bad feelings again.

Rewind

I used to practice Wicca, a religion that I had been drawn to because the religion that I was born into (Christianity) never appealed to me. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in a God, oh yes I do believe in a higher power that created us, but it was that something didn’t feel right. I turned to Wicca because I have always been fascinated by the power of the mind, and in Wicca they have the God and Goddess. However, that too didn’t seem right. I have always believed in more; more Gods.. I am polytheistic. Egyptian and Greek gods called to my attention more, in a way I would accept their beliefs above all others in the modern time.

When I began practicing Wicca, being the multiple believer that I am I pushed aside the beliefs of their holidays and their God and Goddess, I only focused on astral projection, spiritual guides, anything that had to do with the mind and spirit. So in a way, I couldn’t call myself a Wiccan.

As I progressed, I was able to feel and see spirits. I have always had that sense, but training my mind more and more made my strength increase.

I stopped, because the more positive energy I gained… The more negative energy increased around me.

Now

I have been focusing my energy again, something that haven’t done for a while because I dropped my mental abilities due to fear. I see dark shadows lurking around me, I don’t just see the darkness but I feel it; a painful feeling in my gut that pulls me lower. I can’t walk in my house without the lights on anymore, since I have been tuning into my mind’s abilities again.

I want to be strong, and whatever is around me is making that difficult.

But I do know this

The only thing to fear, is fear itself.

So I will continue to work on this, I won’t let this depressing feeling that these dark spirits are trying to lay upon me take a hold of me.

~ by Dawn Marie on October 17, 2009.